Learning a foreign language: five most common mistakes

发布时间：2012-12-20

文章出自：英国每日电讯报

原文链接：点击查看

Listening is the communicative skill we use most in daily life, yet it can be difficult to practise unless you live in a foreign country or attend immersive language classes. The solution? Find music, podcasts, TV shows and movies in the target language, and listen, listen, listen, as often as possible.

Lack of curiosity

In language learning, attitude can be a key factor in how a student progresses.

Linguists studied attitude in language learning in the 1970s in Quebec, Canada, when tension was high between Anglo- and Francophones. The study found that Anglophones holding prejudices against French Canadians often did poorly in French language learning, even after studying French for years as a mandatory school subject.

On the other hand, a learner who is keen about the target culture will be more successful in their language studies. The culturally curious students will be more receptive to the language and more open to forming relationships with native speakers.

Rigid thinking

Linguists have found that students with a low tolerance of ambiguity tend to struggle with language learning.

Language learning involves a lot of uncertainty – students will encounter new vocabulary daily, and for each grammar rule there will be a dialectic exception or irregular verb. Until native-like fluency is achieved, there will always be some level of ambiguity.

The type of learner who sees a new word and reaches for the dictionary instead of guessing the meaning from the context may feel stressed and disoriented in an immersion class. Ultimately, they might quit their language studies out of sheer frustration. It’s a difficult mindset to break, but small exercises can help. Find a song or text in the target language and practice figuring out the gist, even if a few words are unknown.

A single method

Some learners are most comfortable with the listen-and-repeat drills of a language lab or podcast. Some need a grammar textbook to make sense of a foreign tongue. Each of these approaches is fine, but it’s a mistake to rely on only one.

Language learners who use multiple methods get to practise different skills and see concepts explained in different ways. What’s more, the variety can keep them from getting stuck in a learning rut.

When choosing a class, learners should seek a course that practises the four language skills (reading, writing, listening and speaking). For self-study, try a combination of textbooks, audio lessons, and language learning apps.

Fear

It doesn’t matter how well a person can write in foreign script, conjugate a verb, or finish a vocabulary test. To learn, improve, and truly use your target language, we need to speak.

This is the stage when language students can clam up, and feelings of shyness or insecurity hinder all their hard work. In Eastern cultures where saving face is a strong social value, EFL teachers often complain that students, despite years of studying English, simply will not speak it. They’re too afraid of bungling the grammar or mispronouncing words in a way that would embarrass them.

The key is that those mistakes help language learners by showing them the limits of language, and correcting errors before they become ingrained. The more learners speak, the quicker they improve.

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Anne Merritt is an EFL lecturer currently based in South Korea.

外语学习的五种常见误区

发布时间：2012-12-20

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

    安妮.梅利特说，学习一门外语从来都不是一件容易事，但是，如果你陷入这五种误区，就更麻烦了。

    有一种误区认为，聪明的人更擅长学外语。当然，这样说也无妨，因为有些与生俱来具有学术天赋的人本身掌握了大量的学习策略。然而，实际上，大多数语言学习技能是一种习惯，这种习惯通过少量训练和自我意识就可以形成。

    以下是语言学习者们常遇到的五种误区，以及纠正方法。

    一．听力练习不够

    有一个语言学派认为语言学习是从一个沉默阶段开始的。婴儿是通过听和像鹦鹉一样机械地模仿声音来学习语言的，同样，语言学习者为学习语言，也需要练习听力。这样做可以帮助他们巩固所学词汇和句型，帮助他们观察语言模式。

    听力是我们日常生活中最常用到的交流技能。 然而，除非我们在国外生活或者在沉浸式的语言课堂上经过训练，否则很难练习。怎样解决这个问题呢？你可以找一些使用目标语言的音乐，播客，电视节目和电影，然后尽可能经常地去听。

    二．缺乏好奇心

    在语言学习中，态度是影响一个学生进步的最重要因素。

    20世纪70年代，以英语为母语的民族和以法语为母语的民族关系高度紧张时，语言学家在魁北克和加拿大地区研究了语言学习中的态度问题，研究发现，那些对法裔加拿大人存在偏见的以英语为母语的学习者，尽管将法语作为必修学科学了数年，法语成绩也不会太好。

    另一方面，那些对目标语的文化比较感兴趣的学习者通常在语言学习方面比较成功。对某种文化比较有好奇心的学生，接受那种语言也会更容易一些， 并且更可能与本族语使用者形成良好的关系。

    三．思想僵化

    语言学家发现对模棱两可容忍度比较低的学生在语言学习中更易遇到困难。

    语言学习包含着大量的不确定性——学习者每天都会遇到新单词，对于每一种语法规则，方言中都有例外，还有不规则动词。除非达到像母语使用者那样流利， 学习者总会遇到不同程度模棱两可的情况。

    有些学习者看到一个单词就去查字典，而不是通过上下文猜测词义，这些学习者在沉浸式的课堂里可能会感到很有压力，而且迷惑。最终，他们可能会由于彻底失望而放弃语言学习。改变这种思维模式比较困难，但是我们可以进行一些训练。 找一首目标语言的歌曲或一篇文章，然后即使有不懂的词也试图猜测出段落大意。

    四．方法单一

    有些学习者喜欢使用语言实验室或播客里的听读训练，有些需要依靠语法书去弄懂外语。这些方法都可以，但是只依赖一种方法是不正确的。

    能够运用多种方法的语言学习者能够练习不同的技能， 明白以不同方式解释的概念。另外， 这种多样性可以使他们避免陷入语言学习中的惯性。

    语言学习者在选择课程时， 应该选择那些能够训练能说读写四项语言技能的课程。对于自学的人来说， 可以选择多种教科书，有声课程，和语言学习应用程序。

    五．羞怯

    无论一个人在外语写作，动词变形，但单词测试方面多么优秀，一个人如果想要学好外语，提高外语，真正的使用目标语言，我们需要用外语说话。

    在这个阶段，语言学习者可能会拒不开口， 羞怯和不安全感可能会使他们所有的努力功亏一篑。在东方文明中， 爱面子是一种重要的社会传统。外语教师常抱怨，学生们学了好几年英语，还是不会说英语。他们很担心用错语法或发错音，使自己感到难堪。

    重要的是这些错误帮助语言学习者认识到语言的界限，并且可以使他们在这些错误根深蒂固之前改掉。 学习者说得越多，进步也就越快。

作者：安妮.梅利特  发表时间：2012-12-19 7:00AM （格林尼治时间）

安妮.梅利特说，学习一门外语从来都不是一件容易事，但是，如果你陷入这五种误区，就更麻烦了。

聪明的人更善于学语言，这其实是个误区。当然，这样说也无妨，因为有些与生俱来具有学术天赋的人本身掌握了大量的学习策略。然而，实际上，大多数语言学习技能是一种习惯，这种习惯通过一些训练和自我意识就可以形成。

以下是语言学习者们常常犯的五种错误，以及纠正方法。

一．听力练习不够

    有一个语言学派认为语言学习是从一个沉默阶段开始的。婴儿是通过听和像鹦鹉一样机械地模仿声音来学习语言的，同样，语言学习者为学习语言，也需要练习听力。这样做可以帮助他们巩固所学词汇和句型，帮助他们观察语言模式。

听力是我们日常生活中最常用到的交流技能。 然而，除非我们在国外生活或者在沉浸式的语言课堂上经过训练，否则很难练习。怎样解决这个问题呢？你可以找一些使用目标语言的音乐，播客，电视节目和电影，然后尽可能经常地去听。

二．缺乏好奇心

在语言学习中，态度是影响一个学生进步的最重要因素。

20世纪70年代，以英语为母语的民族和以法语为母语的民族关系高度紧张时，语言学家在加拿大魁北克地区研究了语言学习中的态度问题，研究发现，那些对法裔加拿大人存在偏见的魁北克以英语为母语的学习者，尽管将法语作为必修学科学了数年，法语成绩也不会太好。

另一方面，那些对目标语的文化比较感兴趣的学习者通常在语言学习方面比较成功。对某种文化比较有好奇心的学生，接受那种语言也会更容易一些， 并且更可能与本族语使用者形成良好的关系。

三．思想僵化

语言学家发现对模棱两可容忍度比较低的学生在语言学习中更易遇到困难。

语言学习包含着大量的不确定性——学习者每天都会遇到新单词，对于每一种语法规则，方言中都有例外，还有不规则动词。除非达到像母语使用者那样流利， 学习者总会遇到不同程度模棱两可的情况。

有些学习者看到一个单词就去查字典，而不是通过上下文猜测词义，这些学习者在沉浸式的课堂里可能会感到很有压力，而且迷惑。最终，他们可能会由于彻底失望而放弃语言学习。改变这种思维模式比较困难，但是我们可以进行一些训练。 找一首目标语言的歌曲或一篇文章，然后即使有不懂的词也试图猜测出段落大意。

四．方法单一

   有些学习者喜欢使用语言实验室或播客里的听读训练，有些需要依靠语法书去弄懂外语。这些方法都可以，但是只依赖一种方法是不正确的。

能够运用多种方法的语言学习者能够练习不同的技能， 明白以不同方式解释的概念。另外， 这种多样性可以使他们避免陷入语言学习中的惯性。

语言学习者在选择课程时， 应该选择那些能够训练“听说读写”四项语言技能的课程。对于自学的人来说， 可以选择多种教科书，有声课程，和语言学习应用程序。

五．恐惧

无论一个人在外语写作，动词变形，但单词测试方面多么优秀，一个人如果想要学好外语，提高外语，真正的使用目标语言，我们需要用外语说话。

在这个阶段，语言学习者可能会拒不开口， 羞怯和不安全感可能会使他们所有的努力功亏一篑。在东方文明中， 爱面子是一种重要的社会传统。外教常抱怨，学生们学了好几年英语，还是不会说英语。他们很担心用错语法或发错音，使自己感到难堪。

重要的是这些错误帮助语言学习者认识到语言的界限，并且可以使他们在这些错误根深蒂固之前改掉。 学习者说得越多，进步也就越快。

5 Easy Things You Can Do Today That Will Noticeably Improve Your Life

发布时间：2012-12-19

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

5 Easy Things You Can Do Today That Will Noticeably Improve Your Life

Josh Linkner;Dec 17, 2012

As we wind down a busy 2012 and take time around the holidays to reflect, it can quickly become overwhelming, with so many differing theories on ways to lose weight, increase productivity and improve family relationships. While external factors have their place, the only true way to improve yourself is to start at the source: you. Self-improvement is never over, and for some of us, the task is daunting. However, there are few easy things you can do today – right now – that will have a noticeable impact. No reason to wait until January 1 to set an official “new year’s resolution” when you can do a few things with a couple of weeks of December left; this holiday season, give yourself the gift of peace of mind.

Reignite your passion. Whatever deeply moves you, set it on fire. Cooking gets you going? Call the neighbor you’ve been meaning to get to know better, email your colleagues, and call up your college buddy whose schedule just hasn’t matched yours lately – you’re hosting a dinner party. Car racing makes you feel like a million bucks? Take your son to a NASCAR race, or play his car/driver video game with him. Feeling frazzled and disconnected with your significant other? Rekindle the romance! Seriously. The more passion you have in your life, the more creative you’ll be.

Read more. There are so many amazing books and articles readily available for us all to consume. It’s like having the ability to sit down with an incredible thought leader every single night. What a joy. Dedicating 20 minutes nightly to reading will expand your horizons ten-fold, without a huge time commitment.

Write a gratitude list. The more we can connect with our deep appreciation for all the good around us will help us conquer all the challenges we face. If you’re reading this, it means you have a computer (and chances are, that means a roof over your head and clothes to keep you warm this winter). There’s a lot to be thankful for, and writing everything down makes it readily apparent.

Do a random act of kindness. The more you give, the more you will receive. I know it sounds fluffy and cosmic, but it actually works. Improving someone’s day makes yours better. If you’re walking back to the office with leftovers from your lunch meeting and someone asks if you can spare anything, give him your lunch. He’ll have a meal in his belly and you’ll have warmed your own heart by helping.

Seek honest feedback. Sometimes our weaknesses are not as apparent to ourselves but very clear to others. Ask people for direct advice and you will find the most important things to work on. When confronted, you might realize that your tardiness to morning team meetings bothers your boss – it’s easy to set the alarm a bit earlier every morning, and voila – problem solved.

It’s hard to stay on top of things when everything is moving at breakneck speed, but on one of these days off from work, figure out a game plan to improve your world. It starts with baby steps – easy things you can do that won’t break the bank, hurt your ego or take a tremendous amount of time. The beauty is there’s no “catch”: just start!

轻松5件事，让你生活重放光彩

2012年在忙忙碌碌中就要结束了，当我们想利用假期，静下心来做些回顾和反思时，总会发现，我们的空闲时间早被各种各样的信息和理论塞得满满的———-比如，减肥妙方啦，如何提高生产效率啦，怎样改善家庭关系啦，等等。要提升自我，外界因素固然有一定作用，但真正有效的方法来自源头——你自己。自我提高的过程是持续一生一世的，而且对一些人来说，这个任务还相当艰巨。不过，只要你从今天 不，从现在就开始，你做5件小事儿，你就会看到明显的效果。没有必要非等到明年1月1日才正式立下”新年鸿志“，你只需利用12月份剩下的一两个星期做些事情，就能给”自己“送上一份“新年大礼”——心灵的宁静。

    1. 重燃热情之火

    不管什么事情让你觉得很带劲儿，你就让给它再加把火。进厨房露两手是不是很开心呀，那好，叫上你想要加深了解了邻居，发个电子邮件给你的同事，给你最近经常错不开时间见面的大学时的死党打个电话——你要请他们来你家美食一顿。赛车是不是让你觉得像个百万富翁？ 那就带上你的儿子，去参加全美赛车协会举办的赛车活动，或者，跟儿子一起玩电子赛车游戏。与你的另一半有点疏远？那再重新点上蜡烛，诚诚恳恳地再浪漫起来吧。你的生活中越充满激情，你就越有创造力。

    2. 多阅读

    可供我们阅读的精彩的书和文章简直太丰富了，就如同我们每个晚上都能够同一位杰出的思想领袖促膝谈心。你不必花大量时间，每晚只需用上20分钟读书，就可以10倍地扩展视野，这是多好的事儿呵。

    3. 列一个表，写下你要感谢的人

    环顾周围，让我们感恩的东西其实很多，它们能赋予我们力量去战胜生活中的一切困难。如果你能够读到我这篇文章，那就意味着你拥有一台电脑（还可能意味着，你头上有瓦，身上有衣，让你在这个冬天里很温暖）。把你感激的东西一项项写下来，让它们更清清楚楚地展现在你眼前。

    4. 时常做些善事

    付出越多，收获越多。这听来似乎有些空泛，但却是事实。如果，由于你的付出，让某个人的某一天变成美好，你自己也一定快乐。如果你从午餐聚会上打包了些菜肴，在回办公室的路上，有人问你是否可以给他点吃的，那就送给他。他的肚子里有了食物，你的心里就有了快乐——因为你帮助了别人。

    5. 聆听别人真实的看法

    旁观者清。我们的弱点别人看得更清楚。征求别人的意见后，你就有事情做啦，而且是最最重要的事情。 从别人那里你才得知，因为公司的早会你常常迟到，让老板非常气恼。把你的闹钟调早一点儿，是不是轻而易举？，瞧，问题就解决啦。

    当一切一切都处于极速运行时状态时，你就很难抓住什么。所以，你可以利用一个假日，为自己制订一个改善生活的计划。像婴儿学步似地，轻轻松松做点事小事情——既不需要占用你大量的时间，也不会掏空你的钱袋儿，更不会损伤你的自尊。 妙就妙在，不必费什么劲儿，就可以行动起来！

Why Does XOXO Mean Kisses and Hugs?

发布时间：2012-12-19

文章出自：www.mentalfloss.com

原文链接：点击查看

Whether you end a letter or e-mail with it—or you recognize it from the end of each Gossip Girl episode—“Xoxo” is commonly known to refer to the phrase “Kisses and hugs.” But how did these two inconspicuous letters come to represent that well-known phrase?

One possible explanation is that an “X” is a stylized representation of two mouths kissing, while the “O” represents two pairs of arms coming together to complete a hug. This emoticon-inspired account makes sense, but the true explanations are more likely rooted in religious history.

Because many people in the Middle Ages could not read or write, they would sign important documents with an “X, ” which was both a simple mark to make and a reference to the Christian cross. The signee would then kiss the “X” to demonstrate his sincerity and that what was written in the document was true—in much the same way that Christians kissed the Bible to display their belief in Christ. Besides referencing the actual cross itself, the “X” alluded to the early Christian symbol called the Chi-rho—named after combining the first two letters of the Greek word for Christ, ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ.

Tracing the origin of how the “O” came to represent a hug is more difficult. One possible explanation is that Jewish immigrants, upon arriving in the U.S., used the symbol in place of a signature, similar to the way the “X” was used by Christians. Instead of using an “X, ” which invoked Christ—a figure that did not align with Jewish beliefs—illiterate Jewish people arriving in the U.S. would sign documents with an “O.”

Combined with the familiar Christian use of an “X” signifying the oath sealed with a kiss, the “O” was likely then adapted to mean hugs as an equal representation in the sincerity of the sentiment on notes, letters, or even e-mails.

为什么“XOXO”表示“亲吻和拥抱”？

发布时间：2012-12-19

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

    作者：Sean Hutchinson - 2012 年 12 月 17 日上午 9:30

    不管您是写信或邮件时结尾，还是在《绯闻女孩》每一集结束时看到，您都知道“XOXO”是表示“亲吻和拥抱”的短语。但为什么这两个不起眼的字母会表示亲吻和拥抱呢？

    一种解释是，“X”表示正在亲吻的双嘴，而“O”则代表拥抱在一起的两对手臂。这种表情符号式的解释说得通，但真正的原因更可能是来自宗教历史。

    中世纪时，很多人不会读不会写，所以他们在签署重要文件时会使用“X”，这里的 X 既简单易写又表示基督教十字架。然后签署人会亲吻“X”，表明他的真心诚意以及文件内容的真实性。这跟基督教徒亲吻《圣经》以表达他们对基督的信仰几乎是一样的。除了表示实际的十字架，“X”在早期基督教符号中被称为 Chi-rho，其得名是合并希腊语中表示基督的单词ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ的前两个字母。

    追溯为何“O”表示拥抱更困难。一种解释是，与基督教徒使用“X”类似，犹太移民来到美国后使用该符号签名。不会读写的犹太人不用“X”，是因为 X 会让人想到基督，而基督与犹太人的信仰不一致。所以他们签署文件时用“O”。

    就像基督教徒用“X”加亲吻起誓，“O”随后也被用来表示拥抱，其在记录、信件、甚至电子邮件上代表相同的真心诚意。

Five Keys to Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence

发布时间：2012-12-23

文章出自：Psychology_Today

原文链接：点击查看

1. The ability to deal with one's own negative emotions

"We become what we think about all day long."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perhaps no aspect of EQ is more important than our ability to effectively manage our own negative emotions, so they don't overwhelm us and affect our judgment. In order to change the way we feel about a situation, we must first change the way we think about it. Neuro-psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen developed an easy to practice exercise called "ANT Therapy - Killing our Automatic Negative Thoughts, " which helps us examine the nature of our negative experiences, and relate to it in such a way as to reduce our negative emotions. Click on this video link ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SGDnL1j7lw) to see Dr. Amen explain ANT Therapy (from 01:04 to the end of the clip, and at the very beginning of the next sequence).

2. The ability to stay cool under pressure

"Trouble comes from the mouth." - Chinese proverb

Most of us experience some level of stress in life. How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. Here are some quick tips:

A. If you feel angry and upset with someone, before you say something you might later regret, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. In most circumstances, by the time you reach ten, you would have figured out a better way of communicating the issue, so that you can reduce, instead of complicate the problem. If you're still upset after counting to ten, take a time out if possible, and revisit the issue after you calm down.

B. If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. Cool temperature can help reduce our anxiety level. Avoid caffeinated beverages which can stimulate your nervousness.

C. If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself. The way we use our body affects greatly the way we feel. As the saying goes - motion dictates emotion. As you experience the vitality of your body, your confidence will also grow.

D. If you feel overwhelmed, confused, stuck, or uninspired, go outdoors and clear your head. Go into nature and surround yourself in colors of

3. The ability to read social cues

"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."

- Anais Nin

People with high EQ are generally more accurate in their ability to perceive and interpret others' emotional, physical, and verbal expressions. They also know how to communicate effectively to clarify intentions. Based on the writing of Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor II, here are a couple of tips to increase the accuracy of reading social cues:

A. When we see an expression from someone that we don't understand fully, come up with at least two possible interpretations before jumping to conclusion. For example, I may be tempted to think my friend's not returning my call because he's ignoring me, or I can consider the possibility that he's been very busy. When we avoid personalizing other people's behaviors, we can perceive their expressions more objectively. People do what they do because of them more than because of us. Widening our perspective on the situation can reduce the possibility of misunderstanding.

"A negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than they're constipated!"

- Daniel Amen

B. Seek clarification when needed. If necessary, inquire with the other person for clarification on why she's behaving the way she does. Ask opened ended questions such as: "I'm just curious, can you tell me why..., " and avoid accusations and judgments. Compare that person's words with body language and behavior to check for congruency.

4. The ability to be assertive and express difficult emotions when necessary

"Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship."

- Harriet Lerner

There are times in all of our lives when it's important to set our boundaries appropriately, so people know where we stand. These can include exercising our right to disagree (without being disagreeable), saying "no" without feeling guilty, setting our own priorities, getting what we paid for, and protecting ourselves from duress and harm.

One method to consider when needing to express difficult emotions is the XYZ technique - I feel X when you do Y in situation Z. Here are some examples:

"I feel strongly that I should receive recognition from the company based on my contributions."

"I feel uncomfortable that you expect me to help you over my own priorities."

"I feel disappointed when you didn't follow through when you told me you would."

"I feel frustrated when you continue to not take our finances seriously."

"I felt hurt when you made fun of me at dinner last night."

Avoid using sentences that begin with "you" and followed by accusation or judgment, such as "you are..., " "you should..., " "you need to...." "You" language followed by such directives put the listener on the defensive, and make them less likely to be open to what you have to say.

For more tips on how to communicate in difficult relationships, see my articles Are You a Poor Communicator? How to Improve, and Seven Ways to Say “No” and Keep Good Relations.

5. The ability to express intimate emotions in close, personal relationships

"We live in the shelter of each other."

- Celtic saying

The ability to effectively express and validate tender, loving emotions is essential to maintaining close personal relationships. In this case, "effective" means sharing intimate feelings with someone in an appropriate relationship, in a manner that's nourishing and constructive, and being able to respond affirmatively when the other person does the same.

A person's "heart withers if it does not answer another heart."

- Pearl Buck

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman calls the expression of intimate emotions "bidding." Bidding can be any method of positive connection between two people desiring a close relationship. For example:

提高自己情商的五个关键

发布时间：2012-12-23

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

    情商(EQ或EI）可定义为能够理解、管理和有效地表达自己的感受,以及参与并成功地与别人的交流。根据《人才智能》的报告，工作场所中90%表现较好的员工具有较高的情商，而80%表现较差的员工具有较低的情商。情商在形成、发展、保持和提高个人亲密关系中绝对必要。跟一生变化不明显的智商不同，情商能随着学习欲望和成长进化和增长。

    下面是可以提高个人情商的五个关键：

    1.能够处理自己的负面情感。

    “你整天想什么，你就成为什么样的人。”

    ——拉尔夫·瓦尔多·爱默生

    也许情商的任何方面都不比我们能有效地管理自已负面情感重要，因此它们无法压倒我们、影响我们的判断。为了改变我们看待一种情形的方式，我们必须首先改变我们思考方式。神经精神病医生丹尼尔•阿门博士创造了一种容易而实用被称为”ANT法“——赶走我们自动消极思想。这种疗法能帮助我们检查我们消极体验的性质，而且以一种减少我们消极情感的方式体验它。点击这个视频连接 (www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SGDnL1j7lw)来观看阿门博士解释ANT疗法（从01：04到本裁剪结束，接着下集的开始）

    2.在压力下能保持冷静。

    “祸从口出，”——中国谚语。

    生活中，我们大多数人都经历某种程度的压力。我们如何处进有压力的情形，可能对区分自信与活性,准备与疲惫不堪有重要作用。在有压力的情况下，必须牢记的最重要事情就是保持冷静。这里有一些高效的提示：

    A. 如果你感到愤怒，对某人发火，在说一些你以后可能感到后悔前，深深地吸一口气，慢慢地数到十。在大多数情况下，到数到十时，你会想出一种更好交流问题的方式，因此你能减少而不是使问题复杂。如果数到十后，你仍然感到怒火，要是有可能的话，抽出一些时间，在你冷静下来后才重新讨论这个问题。

    B.如果你感到紧张、焦虑，就自己的脸溅些冷水，呼吸一些新鲜空气凉爽的温度有助于减少我们的焦虑程度。避免吃含有能剌激你紧张的咖啡因饮料。

    C.如果你感到害怕,抑郁,或沮丧，。我们使用自己的身体的方式在很大程度影响我们感受的方式。俗话说：运动主宰情感。随着你感受自己身体的生命力，自己的自信也会增长。

    D.如果你觉得不知所措,困惑、无法摆脱或缺乏创见，走出室外去清醒一下头脑。走进大自然，让自己处于有镇静作用的绿色和蓝色环境中。寻找一个能观全景的景点，向远处观望。散散步，进行深呼吸。清空你的思绪，带回一个全新的视角。

    在面对生活挑战，为了寻找更多如何让你保持强大的方法，请阅读我的章文《克服生活最艰难问题及弹性的八个关键》以及《如何变得超级效率——掌控自己时间的十个秘诀》。

    3.能看别人暗示

    “我们没有如实地看待事物，而是希望它成为自己心中想要的样子。”

    ——阿娜伊丝·宁

    具有高情商的人通常能更精确地感知和理解他人的情感,身体和口头表达。他们还知道如何有效地沟通来明确意图。根据罗纳德·阿德勒和罗素学监II的作品，这里有几个增加准确地看清别人暗示的方法：

    A.当我们看到一个自己并不完全理解的别人表情时，至少提出两种可以的解释，然后才作出结论，例如，我可能倾向认为我的朋友回电话，因为他不理我，或者可以认为他可能现在忘得不开交。当我们避免以个人的观点看待别人人行为时，就能更客观地感知别人的表情。人们是因为自己而不是我们去做他们想做的事。开拓我们对这种情况的角度，可以减少可能的误解。

    “别人的消极表情可能仅仅意味着他们迟钝了！”

    ——丹尼尔·亚蒙

    B.必要时寻求澄清。如要必要的话，询问其他人搞清楚她为什么这样做。问一些一放式问题：比如：“我只是好奇，你能告诉我为什么......，” 但要避免指责和裁决。通过对人们的语言与肢体语言、行为的比较来检查是否一致。

    4.必要时，有自信、能够表达不悦的情感。

    “要做这样的人：我们需要自己能够公开地谈论对我们重要的事情；我们在坚持重要情感问题上要采取一个明确的立场；我们要澄清在一个关系中我们能够接受和容忍的限度。“

    有时，在我们的所有人生中，我们适当地设置自己的界限很重要，因此人们要知道自已的立场。这些可以包括行使我们不同意的权利（但不愤岔），不感到内疚地说“不”，确定自己的优先权，获得我们付出的东西以及防备自己受胁迫和伤害。

    考虑何时需要表达不悦情感的一个方法就是XYZ技术——在Z的情况下你做Y时，我感受到X。这里有一些例子：

    “我坚决认为，基于我对公司的贡献，我应该获是公司的认可。”

    “你指望我帮你超过我的优先权，我感觉不舒服。”

    “你告诉我你会坚持到底，但你半途而废，我感到失望。”

    “当你继续对我们的财经状况采取不当一回事时，我感感到沮丧。”

    “昨天晚餐你取笑我，我感到伤心。”

    句子避免使用“你”开始、同时避免接着使用指责或裁决的话，比如：“你是......，”“你应该......，”“你需要......。”跟着这样指令性的“你”语言会让听者处于守势，因而使他们不可能接受你不得不说的话。

    要了解更多有关如何在难处关系中进行沟通的提示，请阅读我的文章《你是一个不善的沟通者?如何提高 》以及《 七种说“不”，但能保持良好关系的方法》。

    5.能在亲密的人际关系中表达亲密情感。

    “我们生活在彼此的庇护之中。”

    ——凯尔特谚语

    能够有效地表达和确认温柔的关爱情感，对保持亲密个人关系至关重要。在这种情况下，有效的”意味着在一个适当的关系中，以一种滋养和建设性的方式与某人共享亲密情感，而且能够在别人做同样的事情时能够作出菜定的回应。

    “如果一个人的心不对另一个心作出反应，那么其感情就会消失。”

    ——珀尔·巴克

    心理学家约翰·高特曼博士把亲密情感称为“要求”。要求可以是两个渴望一个亲密的关系人间的任何积极联系。例如：

    口头要求：你过得如何?“,“你感觉如何?“,“我爱你”,“我很欣赏你”,“我们这样谈话时，我喜欢，“我高头我们一起度过这个时光，”“对不起。”

    肢体语言要求：积极的眼神接触,拥抱,微笑,拍了拍胳膊肘,搂肩膀。

    行为要求：提供食物或饮料、一张个性化的卡片、一个体贴的礼物、一个需要支持、移情清单、参与共同创建一种更亲密关系的活动。

    要了解更多关于爱情和亲密的内容，请阅读《长期关系成功的七个关键》以及《关于爱照亮你的一天，不可抗拒但有趣的引述》。

    高特曼博士的研究揭示，亲密、健康的关系每天以多达好几百次大的和小的方式相互投标价。语言和姿势可能有一百万种变化。从本质上说，所有的语言都是：“我关心你，”“我希望与你发展关系，”“你在生活中很重要。”在保持和发展亲密的个人关系，经常而且坚持不懈地进行竞标是至关重要的。它是爱情的必需因素。

    "当某人爱上你时，他们叫你名字的味道都不一样。你知道你可以把自己安心交给他们。”

    ——正如网络上报道的一样，四岁的比利对爱的定义。

揭秘新年礼物攻略

来源：21世纪英语  日期：2012-12-24  阅读 2895 次  作者:  评论 0条  划词已启用  进入论坛  投稿

爱思英语编者按：岁末迎新，你是否为了挑选新年礼物而伤透脑筋(beat one's brains out)？送什么才能兼顾心意和新意？送礼又有哪些讲究？一起来学习一下吧！

Giving: risky business

揭秘新年礼物攻略

Another year has almost passed. New Year is not only about endless partying, it’s also the time we all prepare to put some thought (and money) into choosing the perfect gift for our friends, and hope that they will appreciate it.

又值岁末。新年不仅仅是个无休止的派对时间，也是一个礼物选购季——我们花费思、掏腰包为朋友们挑选完美礼物，并希望他们喜欢。

Giving gifts can be risky. Not everyone likes everything, and some people are very vocal about expressing their dislike. Relationships, especially new ones, are particularly fraught with gift-giving difficulties because you haven’t reached a point of mutual directness in terms of what you dislike about each other.

送礼可能是件冒险的事。并非每个人都不挑剔，有些人会喋喋不休地表达自己的不满。情侣们，尤其是那些刚刚牵手的情侣，挑选礼物对他们而言尤为棘手，因为你们的关系还没有熟到可以直接表达不满。

So, how do you give gifts the right way? There’s some science to it, Sumathi Reddy wrote in The Wall Street Journal, and it may help you be a more successful giver of gifts. Here are some relevant points to consider:

那么你如何才能选对礼物呢？这里面大有学问。苏马蒂?雷迪在《华尔街日报》的文章中道出了一些送礼的学问，可能有助于你变身为“送礼达人”。下面是一些送礼时可供参考的要点：

Re-gift without guilt

转送礼物，无需内疚

According to a recent study published in Psychological Science, the original gift giver is less likely to be offended by your thankless re-gifting than you might think. If you have a pile of gifts you hate, go ahead and get rid of them.

《心理科学》最新刊登的一项研究显示，最初的送礼人并不会像你想的那样，因为你这种看似辜负他人心意的转送行为而生气。如果你想借机“处理”掉那些你不喜欢的礼物，大胆去送吧。

The original gift giver might not be angry, or at least less than you’d think. “The reason people weren’t overly bothered when their gifts were later re-gifted was because they generally believed the recipient was free to decide what to do with an item,” Reddy wrote.

最初送礼物的人可能并不生气，或者至少不像你想的那般生气。雷迪写道：“人们并不会特别介意自己送出的礼物被转送，因为他们普遍认为收礼者有权决定如何利用这些礼物。”

The thought doesn’t count

关键不在心意

It’s actually the gift that counts, and not the thought behind it, according to the study. “The benefit of a thoughtful gift actually accrues mainly to the giver, who derives a feeling of closeness to the other person,” columnist Jen Doll wrote in the Atlantic Wire.

该项研究显示，关键不在于送礼者的心意，而在于礼物本身。《大西洋线报》的专栏作家珍?多尔写道：“一份花尽心思的礼物，主要受益者则是送礼者，他们因此觉得和他人之间更加亲密。”

Doesn’t that turn the tables nicely? Those people adamant about giving thoughtful gifts are just selfish jerks, while the rest of us materialists are gift-giving the right way. “In fact, thoughtfulness only seemed to count when a friend gives a gift that is disliked,” Reddy explained. The thought and the gift both being bad seems the key scenario to avoid here.

是否感觉局面巧妙地出现扭转？那些执着于送心意的人是自私的傻瓜，而其他实用享乐主义者却送对了礼物。雷迪解释说，“实际上，只有在朋友给你一件你不喜欢的礼物时，你才会体谅他的心意。”礼物不周同时心意又不到似乎是送礼的头号禁忌。

Money can’t buy happiness

金钱买不来快乐

Well, this is obvious, especially for a New Year’s gift. If you overspend on a New Year’s gift, close friends and family members will say: “Why not wait until my birthday for such a big gift?” And if you buy an expensive gift for a new friend, they might just feel pressured.

好吧，这一点显而易见，尤其对于新年礼物而言。如果你在新年礼物上砸下血本，好友和家人可能会说：“这种大礼，应该等到我过生日时再送嘛。”如果你给一个新朋友买了件大礼，他们可能只是会觉得很有压力。

What’s more, just because you spend a lot of money on a gift doesn’t mean people are going to like it more, or like it at all. So don’t bother spending a lot of money–unless someone explicitly asks you to.

此外，你在礼物上花了许多钱，这并不意味着人们就会更喜欢它，或者完全买你的账。因此，不要花大价钱来买礼物，除非有人明确要求你这样做。

Give people what they actually ask for

投其所好

One might think there is no need for scientists to prove this, but they have, and so we thank them. “People are more appreciative when they receive a gift they have explicitly requested”, said a study published last year in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

你可能以为科学家没必要去验证这一点，但是他们的确这样做了，我们应当感谢他们。去年刊登在《实验社会心理学期刊》的一份研究报告显示：“人们收到之前明确表示过想要的礼物时，会更感动”。

Well, what’d you know? When your best friend asked for an iPod you should have given them the Apple product and not the cheap copy that broke immediately.

好吧，你现在知道了？当你最好的朋友想要iPod时，你就应该给他们买苹果的iPod，而不是易坏的山寨货。

As long as the world is turning, you’re going to be dizzy and you’re going to make mistakes. And that’s okay. Your past mistakes can teach you what you need to know to create a wonderful future.

只要世界照常运转，你就有晕晕乎乎的时候，就会犯错。没关系，过去的错误会教你如何创造美好的未来。

Here are twelve big mistakes you (likely) made this year and what you need to know going forward.

下面是你今年可能犯的12大错误，还有你需要了解的接下来该怎么做：



1. You didn’t accept enough risk.

1. 没有接受足够的风险。

Living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk. To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived. Be a little risky and realize the full potential of your life.

活着是需要冒险的。你做出的每个决定、每次互动、每个步骤、你每天早晨起床的时候，都在冒险。要想真正的生活，就要迎面面对风险。不想起床，紧紧抓住那幻想中的安全，这样会慢慢死去而不会体验到真正的生活。冒点儿险，充分发挥生活的潜力。



2. You gave in to your fears and negativity.

2. 在恐惧和负面情绪前却步。

The reality is we all get afraid. It’s not about being afraid but what you do when you feel that way. When you feel doubt, or fear, or anger, or frustration, know that you can let it go just as surely as you can pull your hand away from a flame. Keep your life focused on the goodness, on the possibilities and on your most treasured dreams. What begins in your mind ends up in your life. Think continually of the way you would like to be, let these thoughts drive your actions, and your reality will reliably catch up to your thinking.

现实是我们都会害怕。害怕没关系，重要的是当你害怕时你会做什么。当你觉得怀疑、害怕、愤怒或沮丧时， 告诉自己你可以把这些情绪释放掉，就像你可以把手从火焰边抽回一样。多关注生活中美好的事物、机遇以及最珍视的梦想。有所想才会有所得。经常想一下你想变成什么样子， 让思想驱动行为，现实会跟上你的想法。



3. You let uncertainty paralyze you.

3. 不确定性将你击溃。

As time goes on, you’ll understand: what lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things, and what time can’t solve, you’ll learn to solve yourself. Sometimes you’ll not be able to see where you are going in life, clearly. But know that your soul’s inner GPS will guide you home. You will find that you will be the right person, at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing on point. Trust your intuition. Relax. You know what to do.

随着时间的流逝，你会明白：命里有时终须有，命里无时莫强求。时间会解决大部分问题，剩下的时间解决不了，你要学着自己去解决。有时你无法看清生活的方向，但是你灵魂深处的导航会指引你回家。你会发现你就是那个对的人，在正确的时间、正确的地点做正确的事情。相信自己的直觉。放松。你会知道该做什么。

4. You did what everyone else wanted you to do.

4. 你做了别人想让你做的事。

Life is too short to spend all your time trying to make everyone else happy. Besides, it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. Make choices that take your mind, body, and soul into consideration. You are the only person who knows what’s best for you. It’s impossible for anyone else to know. No matter how much you share with them, they are not connected to your deepest desires, intuition, or hopes and dreams. Always, ALWAYS listen to yourself and what you want first.

人生苦短，不要把你的时间都用来取悦别人。另外，你也不可能一直让所有人都高兴。做决定时想想自己的思想、身体和灵魂。只有你自己才知道如何做对你来说是最好的。别人不可能知道。无论你和他们分享了多少，他们都不可能触及到你最深处的愿望、直觉、希望和梦想。一定要听从自己的内心，想想自己想要什么。



5. You were far busier than you were productive.

5. 工作忙碌但效率低。

All work is not created equal. Try working with mindful awareness of the type of work you’re doing and how it’s helping (or limiting) your progress. Focus on the reason for doing what you’re doing, the deepest reason you can find within yourself. This steady self-awareness will keep you focused as long as necessary on the right activities that bring you closer to your goals.

工作并不是平等的。工作时要意识到你的工作类型，以及它是在帮助（还是阻碍）你的进步。关注自己为何工作，在自己身上找到最深切的原因。这种自我意识能够让你集中在正确的活动中，能让你离目标更近。



6. You didn’t practice enough.

6. 你还练得不够。

If I were to write a book entitled, “How to Be Amazing at Anything”, it would only contain a single page with one word on it: “Practice!” Because that’s all it takes to be amazing. Whether it means learning to write by practicing writing or learning to live by practicing living, the principles are identical. In each instance, it is the relentless routine of a precise set of actions, physical and intellectual, focused on a desired result. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, faith, or desire. Practice is a means of inventing an amazing outcome.

如果我要写一本书，取名为《如何精通万物》，那么书里面会只有一页，这一页上只有一个词：“练习！”只有它才会让你出色。无论你是想通过练习写作来学会写作，或是通过练习生活来学会生活，原则都是一样的。在每种情况下，都是坚持不懈地进行一系列例行活动，身体行动或是心理活动，并把注意力集中在想要的结果上。练习意味着在面对各种各样的困难下，反复进行一些和理想、信仰或愿望相关的行为。练习是一种手段，它能让结果令人惊叹。



7. You let little bits of stress consume you.

7. 压力一点点地消耗着你。

Don’t get stuck on the one thing that ruins your day. Don’t waste your time on one unhappy thought. If one window of happiness closes, run to the next window, or break through a wall. A dose of stress is a great entry point for you to pick up your head and say, “I’m only going to go through this once. I’ve got to figure out how to live my life in a positive and joyful way.” You must learn to let it go.

不要太过拘泥于一件事上，让它把你的一天都毁掉了。不要把时间浪费在不开心的思想上。如果通往快乐的一扇窗户关闭了，跑到下一扇窗前，或打破一堵墙。面对压力，你应该抬起头来说：“我只想经历这一次。我得想出来如何积极快乐的生活。” 你必须学会放手。

8. You let the same people drain you over and over again.

8. 让同样的人一次又一次地榨干你。

People inspire you, or they drain you; choose them wisely. Don’t lose your dignity and self-respect trying to make someone accept, love and appreciate you when they have proven that they are incapable of doing so. If someone or something in life is meant for you, you will still have to work for it, but you won’t have to beg for it. You will never have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.

有的人能激励你，有的人能榨干你；要聪明地进行选择。在想让他人接受、爱或欣赏你时，不要丢掉自己的自尊、自敬，因为有些人无论你怎么做，他们都不会改变对你的态度。如果有些人或有些事对你来说很重要，你仍要去争取，但是不能去乞求。永远也不要牺牲自己的尊严来换取命运。



9. You set unrealistic expectations.

9. 你设立了不现实的期望。

There are always two ways to be happier: improve your reality, or lower your expectations. We’re wired to expect the world to be brighter and more meaningful and more obviously interesting than it actually is. And when we realize that it isn’t, we start looking around for the real world. But this is the real world, and it’s actually a beautiful place to be. We are our own worst enemies for expecting otherwise. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself, others and the world around you, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.

总有两种方法会让你更加开心：改善现实或降低希望。我们天生就希望世界会更明亮、更有意义，比现实更有趣。当我们意识到现实并不像期望的那么好时，我们开始四处寻找真实的世界。但是实际上我们现实的世界是非常美丽的地方。在期待时，我们是自己最大的敌人。如果你能学会停止期望你自己、他人、身边的世界上出现那不可能的完美，你会发现快乐总是环绕在你周围。



10. You overlooked the beauty of small moments.

10. 你忽略了生活中美丽的小瞬间。

Whatever you’re waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, an inner awareness of abundance – it will surely come to you, but only when you’re ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart. So be as grateful as possible, for small things, not just for big things… for the simple act of breathing, the time together, the conversations, etc. Every moment counts. Every second matters. Whatever is given is a gift.

无论你在期待什么，平静的心情、满足感、优雅、丰富的内在，这些都会来的，但是只会当你准备好以开放和感激的心情接受时才会到来。所以尽可能的心存感激吧，为生活中的小事，而不仅仅是因为大事……为像呼吸、在一起度过时光、谈话等这样简单的行为而心存感激吧。每个时刻、每一秒都很重要。你所收到的都是礼物。

11. You didn’t focus enough energy inward.

11. 你没有足够关注内心的能量。

Even when you’re with others, you’re still with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, you’re with yourself, laying in bed at night you’re with yourself, walking down the street at noon you’re with yourself. What kind of person do you want to walk down the street with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see at the end of the day before you fall asleep? It’s your responsibility to be the person you want to be with.

即使和他人在一起，你仍然和你自己在一起。当你在早晨起床时，你和自己在一起，当晚上你躺着床上时，你和自己在一起，当你中午在街上走路时，你和自己在一起。当你走在大街上，你想和什么样的人在一起？当你起床时，你想和什么样的人在一起？在你入睡前，你想和什么样的人在一起？成为你想成为的人，是你自己的责任。



12. You were hoping to make fewer mistakes.

12. 你希望少犯些错误。

You aren’t really free until you give yourself the freedom to make mistakes. Liberate yourself! Try new things, learn and explore freely. Your good judgment comes from life experience, and life experience comes from your bad judgments of the past. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment and defeat are the tools life uses to show you the way.

直到你能允许自己犯错时，你才能得到真正的自由。解放自己！尝试新的事物，自由地学习和探索。良好的判断来自于经验，而生活经验来自于过去你所做的错误判断。你需要有足够的勇气去犯错。失望和失败是生活用来磨砺你的工具。

And remember, all your mistakes from this past year are now just lessons learned. Appreciate what you’ve learned, absorb the energy and possibility of today, and look forward to the year ahead.

记住，过去的一年你所犯过的错误现在对你来说是学到的教训。欣赏你所学到的，吸收今天的能量和潜力，期待着新一年的到来吧。

不快乐的七个基本原因

发布时间：2013-01-20

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

    62%的保加利亚人说他们“不是非常”快乐或者“根本一点也不”快乐。

    某种程度上，我们都是保加利亚人：不管是事业或职业成功与否，我们都会有不快乐的时候。

    以下是为什么会出现不愉快的原因:

    1. 身在圈内神在外

    和人们取得联系比以往都更加容易，不仅是通过社交媒体。加入校友组织和职业组织，穿高尔夫球场马球衫或者校园运动衫，在小车上贴上带有像“HH” 等首字母的贴纸向世人宣布你去希尔顿头岛度夏……许多人努力去展示他们的归属——如果只是为了自己。

    这些关系再好，多半也流于形式。

    配偶故去，校友组织可能来献花(我承认，不来献花也有可能)。如果你失业了，职业组织会寄给你漂亮的网络指导。（是的，也有可能不送，但是当你该更新你的会员信息时，他们会寄给你发票，因此，你会有所期待。）任何人都可以买，比如UVA（美国弗吉尼亚大学）运动衫。UVA并不希望我买，但是我仍然有一件。（在减价出售。）

    加入某些组织越容易，你就越不重视。真正的归属感来自给予、牺牲和努力。

    要有归属感，你必须分享共同经历——越艰苦越好。

    点击一个链接就让你加入成为会员；整晚和一船员呆在一块，为一个紧急发运日期不停装载拖车，就让你加入。邮寄捐赠就让你加入一个项目；在一个拥挤不堪的施粥场（我怀疑是我从来没有做过的事情）工作，使你归属于一群努力做出改变的人们。

    选一个你想归属的组织，并做必要的工作去赢得他们的尊重和信任。

    尤其是艰难时期，真正的归属感让你感到自信；甚至当你独自一人时，为你带来安全感和幸福感——因为当你真正感到归属时，你不再孤独。

    2. 自以为无所不能

    我们的父母都用心良苦却是错的：我们不能成为任何我们想成为的。我们都能成就惊人事业，但是我们不能去做任何我们想做的事情。遗传、性格和运气也都有关联。

    关键是首先你要了解自己，然后，基于你自己独特的优势和劣势尽量做到最好。

    这有个非商业化事例。比如，你决定跑马拉松。可以——通过充分的训练，几乎每个人都可以做到。但是，假如你体重有250磅（约230斤），并想在2个半小时内完成。

    那是不可能的；你不可能做得到，而且，那种尝试会让你丧失信心、感到挫败和不开心。但是，通过足够的训练，你可能可以替补掉350磅级的选手，可是这是那些骨瘦的马拉松运动员永远无法做到的事情。

    公众演说也是同样的道理。你也许永远成不了像比利·梅斯（Billy Mays），但是你可以成为一名出色的史蒂夫·赖特 （Steven Wright）.

    你所完成的不一定就如成就的某些事情同等重要。选择一个适合你的目标，并为之奋斗。

    做一些或做任何其他大多数人不能或不做的事情会让你感觉更自豪、更满足和更快乐。

    3. 认为事业成功等于人生成功。

    你可以热爱你的公司，但是，它永远不会喜欢你回来。（陈词滥调，是的，但是，这是事实。）另一个陈词滥调也是事实：没有哪个将死的人有说过，“我只希望我花了更多时间在工作上……”

    事业再怎么成功，还是不能持久。

    满足来自完成某些事情，并且知道它将继续：抚育优秀的小孩，成为支持性大家庭中一员，知道自己帮助过别人，并改变了他们的生活，让他们过得更好……

    努力工作。在其他一些事情上也同样努力工作，也许有一天你会带着不同的自豪感回顾它们；然后，有了个人满足，现在和将来你就会感觉很棒。

    4. 我们不敢正视自我

    我们没有人真正喜欢自己。（是的，可能她会，他也可能会。）因此，我们试图用合适的化妆品和衣服以及临时宝马来掩饰真实的自己。

    在合适的环境和时间里，我们是快乐的！

    但是，不是在健身房，也不是在海滩上。抑或当我们不得不跑去杂货店，却感觉不自在，因为我们穿着破旧的牛仔裤和T恤，而且，没有洗澡；我们觉得所有人都看着我们，只想马上离开那里。

    因此，我们每天度过的大多时间是去避开任何会让我们感觉不舒服外表和行为的情形。那会让我们过得很糟糕。

    现实中，除了我们自己，没有人真正关注我们的外表。（也许，有我们的死党，但是记住：他们已经看过我们最糟糕的一面了，因此，那个特定的Elvis确实已经离开了大楼。）

    这样做：裸体站在镜子前。（不要做转臀扭肩动作，使你腰看起来更苗条，肩更宽广。）

    仔细看看。那就是真实的你。可能你不喜欢你所看到的，但是，你可能会惊讶发现，你并没有你所怀疑的那么难看。

    如果你不喜欢你的外表，那么下决心做点你想做的，并马上行动起来。只是不要与像他或她的某个人比较；你的唯一目标就是比现在的自己看起来要好些。

    如果你不想对镜中所看到的自己，去做任何改变，那也没事。下一步，随它去。不要再担忧自己的外表。不要再浪费精力去改变你不关心的事情。

    不管怎样，记住： 唯一真正关心你外表的人就是你自己，许多人关心的是你所做的事情。

    外表好看是很好。做得好让你变得快乐。

    5. 凌晨3点，没有打电话的对象。

    数年前，我家房子建在一条河上。飓风把我的房子卷到河里了。约一小时里，我不得不尽可能移动，我打电话给我朋友Doug。我知道他会二话不说就过来。

    而如今，除了家人，我不确定谁是让我觉得适合打电话的人。

    我知道，你有许多的朋友，但是，很多在你需要帮助时，感觉不合适在半夜给他们打电话。有多少你可以倾诉一切的朋友，而且他们不会嘲笑你呢？又有多少你觉得适合长时间坐在一块，而你们都不说话呢？

    我们大多数人都穿着保护自己的盔甲，而且，这盔甲也会让我们感觉孤独；当你孤独时，你是不可能快乐起来的。

    卸掉盔甲，交些真正的朋友。 做起来比听起来更容易，因为其他人也渴望结交真正的朋友。不要担心；他们会喜欢真实的你。你也会喜欢真实的他们。

    你们都会更加快乐。

    6. 我们弄错了控制结构。

    我们所做的大部分事情，特别是职业上的，是基于试图维持控制上的：流程，指导方针和策略……任何我们计划和实施的事情是为了控制本来不能控制的事情，同时在这个充满巧合的世界里创造一种安全感。（刚才我是不是太哲学化了？不好意思。）

    最终，那些努力功亏一篑，因为结构从来不等同于控制。不论我们为自己设定多少指导方针，我们还是经常超出它们的范围。（否则，我们都会是苗条的、修长的、健康的和富足的。）

    预算、节食和五年计划全都泡汤了，而且，我们甚至会更加失意，因为我们不能达到我们所计划和期望的。待办事项列表和全面的日常安排是有帮助的 但是当只意味着个人的事情时，你只会取得目标内的那点进步。

    决定什么是你真正想作的事情，并去追求它。由于你真正在乎，你会有一种真正的控制感。

    当你真正在乎——一切事情时，你就会更加快乐些。

    7. 我们停止了失败。

    我们大多数人尽力去避免失败。那是一种带有反常的意外收获的自然本能：我们开始丧失质疑我们自己决定的能力。

    而且，我们也失去从别人的观点角度审视自己的能力。当我们失去追问所有答案和犯错时，与人共事和领导他人的能力也会大大折扣。

    因此，走出去，接受失败，但是，不是你所认为的方式。忘掉如“在商业领导，如果你没有失败，那么你就没有去尝试。”的陈词滥调。商业失败耗费时间和我们大多数人不拥有的金钱。（我的猜想是“失败”没有作为一个项目出现在你的营业预算内。）

    而是去工作之外体验失败。选择不需要花费很长时间的简单事情和设定一个你知道自己不能达到的目标。如果你正常情况下能跑2英里，那么尝试下5英里。如果你做运动，就做比你优秀的人同台竞技。如果你必须选择商业任务，那么马上找出10种可能性。

    不论你如何选择，都要全力以赴。不要找任何的借口。确保别人只会以你的成绩来评定你……而且，你会发现自己的不足。

    为什么？因为，失败不是击败，失败是激励。

    失败也会提供给人们一种健康的人生态度，让我们更加隐忍和更具耐心，使我们意识到自己与身边的人没有多大区别。

    当你意识到自己并没有什么不一样或“特别的”，你就更容易快乐地与身边的人相处——自己也会更加快乐。

7 Basic Reasons You Aren't Happy

发布时间：2013-01-20

文章出自：www.linkedin.com

原文链接：点击查看

Sixty-two percent of Bulgarians say they are “not very” happy or “not at all” happy.

At some point we’re all Bulgarians: We're all unhappy at times, regardless of business or professional success.

Here's are some reasons why:

1. We mistake joining for belonging. Making connections with other people is easier than ever, and not just through social media. Joining alumni groups and professional organizations, wearing golf course polo shirts or college sweatshirts, putting a sticker with initials like “HH” on your car to announce to the world you summer at Hilton Head Island… many people try hard to show -- if only to themselves -- that they belong.

Most of those connections are superficial at best.

If your spouse passes away the alumni organization may send flowers. (Okay, probably not.) If you lose your job a professional organization may send you a nifty guide to networking. (Okay, probably not, but they will send you the invoice when it's time to renew your membership, so you will have that to look forward to.) Anyone can buy, say, a UVA sweatshirt. UVA didn't want me but I still have one. (It was on sale.)

The easier it is to join something the less it means to you. A true sense of belonging comes from giving, self-sacrifice, and effort.

To belong you must share a common experience—the tougher the experience, the better.

Clicking a link lets you join; staying up all night with a crew loading trailers to meet an urgent ship date lets you belong. Sending a donation gets your name in a program; working in an over-crowded soup kitchen (something to my discredit I've never done) lets you belong to a group of people striving to make a difference.

Pick a group you want to belong to and do the work necessary to earn their respect and trust.

A true sense of belonging gives you confidence, especially during tough times, and provides a sense of security and well-being even when you're by yourself -- because when you truly belong you are never alone.

2. We think we can achieve anything. Our parents were well intentioned but wrong: We can’t be whatever we want to be. We can all achieve amazing things, but we can’t doanything we set our minds to. Genetics, disposition, and luck play a part too.

The key is to know yourself and then work to be the best you can be based on your unique set of advantages and limitations.

Here’s a non-business example. Say you decide you want to run a marathon. Fine -- with enough training almost anyone is capable. But say you're a guy who weighs a muscular 250 pounds and you want to finish in under 2 hours and 30 minutes.

That's just not going to happen; you’re not made that way and the attempt will leave you discouraged, defeated, and unhappy. But with enough training you could probably bench 350 pounds, something the whippet-thin marathon runners will never do.

The same is true with, say, public speaking. You may never be like Billy Mays but you could be an outstanding Steven Wright.

What you achieve isn’t nearly as important as achieving something. Pick a goal you’re suited for and go after it.

Doing something -- doing anything -- that most other people cannot or will not do will make you prouder, more fulfilled, and a lot happier.

3. We think professional success equals fulfillment. You can love your company but it will never love you back. (Cliché, sure, but true.) Another cliché, just as true: No person lying on their death bed ever says, "I just wish I had spent more time at work..."

Professional success, no matter how grand, is still fleeting.

Fulfillment comes from achieving something and knowing it will carry on: Raising great kids, being a part of a supportive extended family, knowing you have helped others and changed their lives for the better...

Work hard on business. Work just as hard on a few other things you can someday look back on with a different sense of pride; then, where personal fulfilment is concerned, you get to feel great now and later.

4. We’re afraid of what we really are. None of us really likes how we look. (Well, maybe she does. And he probably does too.) So we try to hide who we really are with the right makeup and the right clothes and the occasional BMW.

In the right setting and the right light, hey, we’re happy.

But not at the gym. Or the beach. Or when we have to run to the grocery store but feel self-conscious because we’re wearing ratty jeans and an old t-shirt and we haven’t showered and we think everyone is staring at us and jeez can we just get out of here already.

So we spend considerable time each day avoiding any situation that makes us feel uncomfortable about how we look or act. And that makes us miserable.

In reality no one really cares how we look... except us. (And maybe our significant others, but remember they’ve already seen us at our worst, so that particular Elvis has definitely left the building.)

So do this. Undress and stand in front of the mirror. (And don’t do the hip-turn shoulder-twist move to make your waist look slimmer and your shoulders broader.)

Take a good look. That’s who you are. Chances are you won't like what you see, but you'll probably also be surprised you don’t look as bad as you suspected.

If you don’t like how you look, decide what you’re willing to do about it and start doing it. Just don't ever compare yourself to someone like her or him; your only goal is to be a better version of the current you.

If you aren’t willing to do anything about what you see in the mirror, that’s fine too. Move on. Let it go. Stop worrying about how you look. Stop wasting energy on something you don't care enough about to fix.

Either way, remember that while the only person who really cares how you look is you, many people care about the things you do.

Looking good is fun. Doing good makes you happy.

5. We have no one to call at 3 a.m. Years ago my house was on a river. A hurricane put my house in the river. I had about an hour to move as much as I could and I called my friend Doug. I knew he would come, no questions asked.

Today, aside from family, I’m not sure whom I would feel comfortable calling.

I know you have lots of friends, but how many people do you feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night if you need help? How many people can you tell almost anything and you know they won’t laugh? How many people can you feel comfortable sitting with for a long time without either of you speaking?

Most of us wear armor that protects us from insecurity. That armor also makes us lonely, and it’s impossible to be happy when you’re lonely.

Take off your armor and make some real friends. It’s easier than it sounds, because other people long to make real friends too. Don’t worry; they’ll like the real you. And you’ll like the real them.

And all of you will be much happier.

6. We mistake structure for control. Most of what we do, especially professionally, is based on trying to maintain control: Processes, guidelines, strategies… everything we plan and implement is designed to control the inherently uncontrollable and create a sense of security in a world filled with random occurrences. (Did I just go all philosophical? Sorry.)

Eventually those efforts fall short because structure never equals control. No matter how many guidelines we establish for ourselves, we often step outside them. (Otherwise we’d all be slim, trim, fit, and rich.)

Budgets and diets and five-year plans fall apart and we get even more frustrated because we didn't achieve what we planned or hoped. To-do lists and comprehensive daily schedules are helpful, but you only make real progress towards a goal when it means something personal.

Decide what you really want to do and go after it. You'll feel a real sense of control because you really care.

And when you truly care -- about anything -- you're a lot happier.

7. We've stopped failing. Most of us do everything we can to avoid failure. That's a natural instinct with an unnatural by-product: We start to lose the ability to question our decisions.

And we lose the ability to see our ourselves from another person's point of view. The ability to work with and lead others is compromised when we lose perspective on what it's like to nothave all the answers - and what it's like to make mistakes.

So go out and fail, but not in the way you might think. Forget platitudes like, "In business, if you aren't failing you aren't trying.” Business failures cost time and money that most of us don't have. (My guess is "failure" doesn’t appear as a line item in your operating budget.)

Instead fail at something outside of work. Pick something simple that doesn't take long and set a reach goal you know you can't reach. If you normally run two miles, try to run five. If you play a sport, play against people a lot better than you. If you must choose a business task, cold call ten prospects.

Whatever you choose, give it your all. Leave no room for excuses. Make sure you can only be judged on your merits... and will be found wanting.

Why? Failure isn't defeating; failure is motivating.

Failure also provides a healthy dose of perspective, makes us more tolerant and patient, and makes us realize we're a lot like the people around us.

When you realize you aren't so different or "special" after all it's a lot easier to be happy with the people around you -- and happy with yourself.

年轻工作者常犯的 8 大职业错误

发布时间：2013-01-19

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

    最终你踏入了社会并登上了第一个工作岗位。恭喜！在进入职场之前，你必须试着避开一些常见的陷阱。看看年轻人倾向于犯的 8 个最大的职业错误都是什么吧。

    害怕大声说出来

    不管是要求加薪、请假，或仅仅只是说出自己的建议，在办公室敢于为自己发言都非常重要。你表现的越自信，别人就越相信你，只要你恭敬而专业而不是毫无自信，同事们肯定会对你印象深刻。确保自身的价值且不要让你的年龄或者经验影响到别人对待你的方式。

    工作应酬中饮酒过量

    不管你所在的办公室有多随意，不要错误的以为你可以像在假期一样在公司聚会、宴会和活动上尽情畅饮。放松时要记得这里还有你的同事——事实上，这对建立人际关系很是有用——要确保你没有犯傻。没有什么比你醒来的时候还在为昨天你的所说所做而深感不安更糟糕的事情了。

    消磨时间

    你可能认为没有人会看到或者会注意你整天都做些什么，但是如果你和大多数年轻职员一样，每个人经过你位置的时候都可以看到你的电脑屏幕。所以限制花在 Facebook、个人邮箱和其他与工作无关的网站上的时间至关重要。哪怕你的上司觉得你是在放松，他也绝对不会欣赏一个关注自己朋友状态更新多过自己工作的职员。

    穿着不当

    很多时候，重视年轻职员并不容易。如何表现自己会对你自身有所帮助，也会有所伤害。如果你穿的过于不当、幼稚或者随意，你就会传达给你的同事一种错误信息。你有这些衣服并不意味着你就可以穿到办公室。如果你想受到重视，那就穿的正式一些。

    缺乏交流

    当然，努力工作和专注对你的职业成功很是关键，但是对下一份工作或晋升来说，职业关系也至关重要。许多年轻人很有进取性但惧怕沟通，可这的确是职场中的固定部分。向你敬仰的上级咨询职业建议不失为一种良好的开端。

    在办公室嚼舌根

    交流是建立关系的正确方式，但嚼舌根肯定不是。附和同事对办公室的抱怨是联合的绝好方式，但这是很危险的习惯，因为这会引起你与其他同事的摩擦。如果其他人向你抱怨或传谣言，千万不要加入其中并要保持中立。长远来看，这可以保证你工作中不会树敌。

    上班迟到

    表象就是一切。你可能是办公室里最努力的人或者在家做了很多其他工作，但是如果你连续迟到，就会给别人你很懒的印象。大家只注意走得晚和来得早的人，且不管对不对，都会对你产生看法。你的职业声望对你在行业中的进步很重要，迟到听起来虽是小事，但是却会逐渐毁掉你所有的努力成果。

    表现的很有资历

    表现的过于自信也是年轻职员常出的问题。有时候，对刚毕业的大学生来说，从食物链顶端过渡到职业“新人”显得很是困难。但是既然你已经走出了象牙塔，就应该清楚你在公司的位置并保持谦恭。你以优异的成绩毕业并不意味着你可以成为榜样，你的态度会影响到你的晋升。

8 Biggest Career Mistakes Young Workers Make

发布时间：2013-01-19

文章出自：www.ehow.com

原文链接：点击查看

So you’ve finally made it to the “real world” and landed your first job. Congratulations! Before you dive into the working world, there are a few common pitfalls you should try to avoid. Click through to learn about the eight biggest career mistakes young professionals tend to make.

Being Afraid to Speak Up

Whether it’s asking for a raise, time off, or just voicing an opinion, it’s important to stand up for yourself in the office. The more confidence you exude, the more others will have in you, and as long as you do it in a respectful and professional way, your colleagues will be more impressed than put-off by your assertiveness. Make sure to know your worth and not let your age or inexperience dictate how others treat you.

No matter how casual your office might be, do not get fooled into thinking you can have as much fun as you want at holiday or other office parties, dinners and events. It’s fine to loosen up and get to know your coworkers outside the office -- in fact, it’s actually great for relationship building -- but make sure you have your wits about you. There’s nothing worse than waking up the morning after an office event regretting what you did or said.

Goofing Off

You may think no one is looking or particularly cares about what you're doing all day, but if you're like most young professionals, you sit in a cube with your computer screen visible to all who pass by. So it's important to limit the amount of time you spend on Facebook, personal email and other non-work-related sites. Even though your boss may seem relaxed, he's not going to appreciate an employee who seems to care more about her friend's status updates than her actual work.

Dressing Inappropriately

Sometimes, it can be difficult to be taken seriously as a young professional. One thing that can either help or hurt you is how you present yourself. If you dress too provocatively, young or casual, you could be sending the wrong message to your coworkers. Just because you have it, doesn’t mean the office is the place to wear it. If you want to be taken seriously, dress seriously.

Not Networking

Yes, working hard and being seen as a dedicated employee is vital to your professional success, but professional relationships are just as important when it comes to getting your next job or promotion. Many young people are afraid to network and appear aggressive, but it is an established part of the working world. A good way to start is by asking your superiors whom you look up to for career guidance.

Gossiping in the Office

While networking is the right way to build relationships, gossiping is not. Commiserating with coworkers over shared office gripes can be a great way to bond, but it’s a dangerous habit to get into and can cause friction with other colleagues. If others come to you with gossip or complaints, refrain from joining in and stay neutral. In the long run, it will serve you better to not make enemies at work.

Being Late for Work

Appearance is everything. You could be the hardest worker in the office or do extra work from home, but if you are consistently late to work, you give off the impression that you’re a slacker. People notice who stays late and who comes in early and will form an opinion about you, whether it’s accurate or not. Your professional reputation is a vital part of getting ahead in your industry and being late to work sounds trivial, but it can gradually undermine all your hard work.

Acting Entitled

Acting too confident is a common issue with young professionals. It is sometimes hard for recent college graduates to transition from top-of-the-food-chain seniors to professional “freshmen.” Now that you’re out of the collegiate bubble, you must remember to be humble and know your place in the company. Just because you might have graduated cum laude, doesn’t mean you’re too good to make photocopies, and that attitude will hurt your chances of being promoted.

7大要素打造高效简历

发布时间：2013-01-19

文章出自：译言

原文链接：点击查看

    试想一下我们每天会读多少新闻报导。再试想一下从早到晚要看几百份简历的招聘者。一篇让人迫不及待想要读完全文的报导——或者简历——和一篇让人只想被动地瞟一眼的报道之间，有什么区别？在不过3到10秒的时间里，我们该如何吸引读者的注意力并且保持他们的高度关注？

    近年来，报纸产业困难重重，但像新闻记者一样思考仍然有助于你的简历写作。这种思维模式有助于清除找工作过程中的障碍，下面就是你为了抓住招聘者的注意力所要做的。

    7.清楚精炼的刊头

    大部分人看报纸（或者新闻网站）的时候，首先注意的就是刊头或者网站标题。刊头和标题的设计版式都经过深思熟虑。我把这个深思熟虑的内容称为“友好要素”。刊头用什么颜色哪些信息才会抓住你的兴趣？所有这些在设计中都必须仔细思考。

    刊头一般有两种风格：一类面向特定的读者群；另一类则吸引大众读者。你应该用哪种模板？

    你简历上的“联络方式”就像是你的刊头。在这小小的一英寸空间里，你有比你想象多得多的机会来抓着读者的注意。写上你的名字，省略你的住址（这种信息真的有任何用处吗？？），写出你的电邮和电话号码，强调你是否愿意出差/为工作搬家，告诉他们你任何特别的技能，比如双语能力，通过了背景调查等等。

    另外，我总是建议在刊头里写上你不抽烟。（好吧，我总是因此被鄙视，但是事实上在招聘上这一点非常有所谓。我只不过是直白的点破而已。）我教你仔细思考你简历刊头的目的，是为了让你能给招聘者留下个好印象——也就是我前面提过的“友好要素”。

    6.抓人眼球的标题

    有些我鼓励你做的事情，招聘者可能并不情愿我那么直白的告诉你（比如省略你的住址）。但若说到像写新闻一样组织你的简历标题，招聘者会非常乐意我这么鼓励你。

    我认为你应该打造一份“目标声明书”。在你的简历刊头——呃，就是联系信息——的紧下方，单独列出一行，居中，字体加黑，明确告诉你的读者，你的目的是什么。这个“标题”会抓住他们的注意力，并且吸引他们继续看下去。

    明确写上你求职的职位，以及公司的名字和职位编号。这样，当人力资源或者相关的工作人员在第一轮筛选时，他们能够更轻松并且准确地把你的简历分类到相应的招聘主管手下。

    5.气势强大的开篇

    看过了最开始引起你注意的标题，接下来的第一段最好内容丰富，摄人心魄。如果第一段不能抓住人心，之前的注意力就会减退，然后你就会晃去其他文章或者网站了。

    对于招聘者也是如此。拜托各位好好想想！招聘的人也是人！他们值得精炼易读的信息。不然他们干嘛继续看你的简历，当他们的收件箱里还躺着上千份简历等着过目？

    我的观点是，你简历的第一段应该明确写出你对于他们组织的价值。这会引起你的读者的建议。为什么？因为其他那些等着过目的简历一定都会说想要“充满挑战和回报的事业”这类千篇一律的话。在这个困难重重的经济时期，公司无法承受招错人的代价。招聘者身负重任，只招能一进公司就有创造价值的职员。

    不要仅仅告诉他们你想要成功，告诉他们你会如何达到你要到成功。

    4.摄人心魄的内容

    在我的简历模版上，接着开篇一段会简短的列举出（大概4点）你职业生涯中的最重要成就。为什么？我希望你表现自己过去主要成就的方式，能促成招聘者联系你的意向。记住，简历的唯一目标不是找到工作，而是创造交流的机会，或者一次你所乐意的面谈。

    我希望你告诉你的潜在未来老板你会“改进商业流程，提高利润3%，并同时把内部流程周转降低16%”，或者你“设计了一套文件系统，将员工们找文件的时间减少了50%，使得工作更加有效”。

    除了展示你自己的能力，你同时也引发了招聘经理的问题：她怎么做到的？这个问题背后暗藏的真正的问题其实是：她能在我这里做到么？

    3.实事求是的内容

    接下来，你的简历要由事实构成，包括你过去以及现在的工作经历。简单讲这部分就是一个简短的列举，公司的名字，你的职位，你工作的时间，公司的地址（详细地址或者所在城市，如果你在不同地方工作过）我知道编造事实看上去值得一试，但是如果有任何信息不属实，你一定会为此后悔的。

    注意，我并没有让你把在每个工作地方的成就都列举出来。这种简短的/一页长度的格式（为了成功的通过那些自动筛选简历的程序）是因为我喜欢简短的简历。我喜欢空白，因为我的目标是要让招聘者给我打电话。我需要他们问我要更多的信息，这时候我再把完整版的传统简历发给他们。

    2.着重强调的重点

    很多人都会犯这样的错误：把他们的学历或者其他类似的信息放在简历的开头。对于新毕业的新人或者技术人员这也许很有用，但是就像杰克•坎菲尔德在《成功的法则》中所说，“这个世界雇你不是为了你的学识；雇你是为了你的能力”

    我称之为“重点”的这个部分，会包括你的学历以及你觉得会令公司对你更感兴趣的相关的/重要的荣誉和奖项。例如，你在某个行业相关的领域获得的认可，证书都适合放在这个部分。在你儿子的足球队当教练则不必提了。

    1.简练，简练再简练

    我多年的经验发现，简历不是过于单薄（比如没有工作经历的大学毕业生）就是过于冗长。

    有些应聘者认为他们必须把做过的所有事情全都放在简历上，于是有了这些冗长的简历。事实完全不是这样。简历必须目标明确，里面的信息只要能帮你获得面试机会就够了。记住，招聘经理大约只有3到10秒的时间来做决定，你务必要保证简历的简短，并且强调你最优秀的方面，来最大化你的机会。

    最重要的是……

    你自己。前提是你像个新闻记者一样思考。

    时刻从你的读者角度来考虑。你不是你的读者，如果你的简历只能折服你自己，你大概已经失掉了面试机会。把你的简历交给不认识的人。配偶/重要的另一半大概是最不适合帮你过目简历的人选了。再说了，他们能说什么么？找个中立的人来看你的简历，最好是同行，并能带着“我会愿意跟这个人交谈么”的想法来看。

    然后，谁知道呢，或者他们会给你这个工作！

7 Tips for Attention-Grabbing Resumes

发布时间：2013-01-19

文章出自：www.salary.com

原文链接：点击查看

Think Like a Journalist

Think of how many news articles you read daily. Now think about recruiters who review hundreds of resumes day in and day out. What makes the difference between an article -- or a resume -- that may be eagerly devoured in its entirety, and another that merely receives a passing glance? What has to happen in that 3- to 10-second span to garner attention and keep the reader engaged?

While the newspaper industry has fallen on hard times during the last few years, it behooves you to think like a journalist when crafting your resume. This mindset may enhance your chances of cracking the barrier between you and your next job, so here are some things you need to include to quickly capture the attention of employers.

7. A Clear &Concise Masthead

One of the main things many people look for in a newspaper (or online news site) is the masthead or header. A lot of thought goes into the design and layout of a header. I like to call this thought process the "friend factor." What colors and information will hook you as a reader? A lot of thought has gone into this design.

Mastheads come in two styles -- those aimed at a specific demographic and those trying to gain traction with the public at large. Who is your demo?

Think of the "Contact Information" on your resume as your masthead. Within this single inch of space you have the opportunity to grab the reader’s attention much more than you might think. Tell them your name, omit your physical address (what value does it really have??), provide your email address and phone number, state whether you are able to travel/relocate, tell them any special qualifications you might have such as being bi-lingual or having a security clearance.

One last thing I always recommend for the header is to tell the reader that you don’t smoke. (Yes, I always get grief for this but the reality is that this is a big deal in hiring circles. I’m just the messenger.) My goal in getting you to think your resume header is to get the recruiter to like you -- the friend factor I mentioned earlier.

6. An Eye-Catching Headline

There are some things I am a proponent of on your resume that, quite frankly, recruiters would rather I not tell you (omitting your physical address for one). But when it comes to the headline component of your journalistic resume, recruiters love me.

I insist that you create a "Seeking Statement." A single line centered and bold just below your Masthead -- um, contact information -- that tells the reader exactly what you are seeking. This "headline" grabs their attention and warrants further reading.

State the title of the position you are seeking, insert the name of the company and a reference number. Make it easy for HR or a staffing professional to route your resume to the correct hiring manager at the outset.

5. A Strong Lead

When you get past the headline that initially nabbed your attention, what follows better be a rich and compelling first paragraph. Without a lead that captures the reader, attention wanes and you are off to the next article or website.

The same is true of the recruiter. Come on people, think about this! Recruiters are real, human people too! They deserve concise, well written information. Otherwise why should they continue with your submission when they may have 1, 000 or more resumes screaming for attention in their inbox?

It is my contention that your first paragraph should state how you will bring value to the organization. That will grab your reader’s attention. Why? Because those other screaming resumes will be uniformly expressing a desire to acquire a "rewarding and challenging career." In these economically trying times, a company cannot afford to hire the wrong person. Recruiters are tasked with bringing in only those people who can provide value from the get go.

Don't just tell them you want to succeed, tell them how you will achieve that success.

4. Compelling Content

What follows the lead in my resume format is a short list (4 points or so) of some of your finest professional accomplishments. Why? I want you to present previous achievements in such a manner as to create a need from the recruiter’s point of view to contact you. Remember that the sole purpose of a resume is not to land a job, but to create a dialogue, or a meet-and-greet if you will.

I want you to tell your potential future employer how you "enhanced business processes increasing revenue by 3% while reducing overall turnover 16%." Or how you "created a filing system that reduced the time staff spent seeking files by 50%, thereby creating a more efficient workplace."

Besides tooting your own horn, you create a question in the hiring manager’s mind: How did she do that? The question behind the question however is: Can she do that for me?!

3. Factual Content

The next section in your resume will be purely factual and will consist of your current and previous employment history. This should be nothing more than a short listing with company names, your title or position, the dates you were employed, and company location (address or city if you have relocated during your career). Despite the temptation, do not fudge things here. It will come back to bite you.

Notice I did not mention a list of accomplishments achieved during your employment in each listing. For the purpose of my short-form/one-page resume (designed to successfully navigate resume-filtering software) I like to keep it short. I’m fond of white-space, because my goal is to receive a call from the recruiter. I WANT them to call me asking for more information at which point I will send along my traditional resume.

2. Accentuate the Highlights

A lot of people make the mistake of posting their education and other such information at the beginning of their resume. This may be useful as a technique for new grads, but as Jack Canfield said in The Success Principles, "The world doesn’t pay you for what you know; it pays you for what you do."

The section I’m calling "Highlights" will include educational achievements and any other relevant and/or significant honors or awards you think will make you that much more desirable to the company. Things such as specific industry-related notice and certifications certainly fit the bill. Coaching your son’s soccer team has no place here.

1. Keep It Simple

Over the years I have found resumes to be either too thin (think a new college grad with little job experience) or too heavy.

Thinking about the too-heavy resume, some job seekers believe they need to throw everything they have ever done into the mix. Nothing could be further from the truth. A resume needs to be on point and present only that information necessary to get you the phone call. Remember, the hiring manager is likely making a decision in that 3- to 10-second window, so keep it short and highlight your best attributes to maximize your chances.

And the Winner Is...

You, provided you think like a journalist.

Remember to keep your audience in mind. You are NOT your audience, so if you have only managed to impress yourself with your completed resume, chances are you missed the mark. Pass your resume by someone not related to you. Spouses/significant others are the worst people to whom you can show your resume. After all, what are they really going to say? Get someone impartial to review your resume, ideally a person in business who will review with the mindset of "would I want to talk with this person?"

And who knows, they might even offer you a job!

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