有趣的英语小故事

【篇一：有趣的英语小故事】

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：

midway tactics

ited for mayhem to ensue.

the retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, gigantic sale! and super bargains!

the store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, prices slashed! and fantastic discounts!

the owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, entrance .

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书： 大减价! 特便宜!

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称： 大砍价! 大折扣!

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着： 入口处 。

very pleased to meet you

during world war ii, a lot of young women in britain were in the army. joan phillips was one of them. she worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

one evening she met captain humphreys at a dance. he said to her, i m going abroad tomorrow, but i d be very happy if we could write to each other. joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in england.

joan went there and said to the matron, i ve come to visit captain humphreys.

only relatives are allowed to visit patients here, the matron said.

oh, that s all right, answered joan. i m his sister.

i m very pleased to meet you, the matron said, i m his mother!

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说， 我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。

琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说， 我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。

这里只有亲属可以探望病人。

护士长说。

噢，是的， 琼说， 我是他的妹妹。

很高兴认识你， 护士长说， 我是他的母亲。

two soldiers

two soldiers were in camp. the first one s name was george, and the second one s name was bill. george said, have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, bill?

bill said, yes, i have, and he gave them to him.

then george said, now i haven t got a pen. bill gave him his, and george wrote his letter. then he put it in the envelope and said, have you got a stamp, bill? bill gave him one.

then bill got up and went to the door, so george said to him, are you going out?

bill said, yes, i am, and he opened the door.

george said, please put my letter in the box in the office, and... he stopped.

what do you want now? bill said to him.

george looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, what s your girl-friend s address?

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问： 比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?

比尔说： 有。

然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说： 我还没有笔呢。

比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问： 比尔，你有邮票吗? 比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问： 你要出去吗?

比尔说： 是的。

随即打开了门。

乔治说： 请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有... 他停住了。

你还要什么? 比尔问。

乔治看着信封说： 你女朋友的地址是-?

five months older

the second world war had begun, and john wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. so when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

but john s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. this doctor remembered the older boy s family name, so when he saw john s papers, he was surprised.

how old are you? he said.

eighteen, sir, said john.

but your brother was eighteen, too, said the doctor. are you twins?

oh, no, sir, said john, and his face went red. my brother is five months older than i am.

大五个月

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

你多大了? 军医问。

十八，长官。

约翰说。

可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?

约翰脸红了，说： 哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。

west point

my father, brother and i visited west point to see a football game between army and boston college. taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, to show our son what to expect if he should attend west point.

one middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. they explained, we want to show our son what he missed by not coming to west point.

父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。

好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。

一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说： 我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。

(6)present for girlfriend

at a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. shall i engrave her name on it? the jeweler asked.

the customer thought for a moment, and then said, no-engrave it to my one and only love . that way, if we ever break up, i can use it again.

送给女友的礼物

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。

要我把她的名字刻在上面吗? 珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道： 不--在上面刻 给我唯一的爱 。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。

be careful what you wish for

a couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

during the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

the wife wanted to travel around the world. the fairy waved her hand, and boom! she had the tickets in her hand.

next, it was the husband s turn. he paused for a moment, then said shyly, well, i d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.

the fairy picked up her wand, and boom! he was ninety.

慎重许愿

一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。

呯! 的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说， 那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。

仙女拾起了魔术棒。

呯! ，他变成了90岁。

wood fire

one woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened.

does that mean, asked the other, that they make ashes of themselves?

森林之火

一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性： 丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。

那是不是意味着， 另一个问道， 他们将自己烧成灰烬?

best reward

a naval officer fell overboard. he was rescued by a deck hand. the officer asked how he could reward him.

the best way, sir, said the deck hand, is to say nothing about it. if the other fellows knew i d pulled you out, they d chuck me in.

最好的奖赏

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

最好的办法，长官， 这名水手说， 是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。

napoleon was ill

jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. however, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let jack continue his studies the following year.

he s a good boy, said jack s father, and if you let him pass this time, i m sure he ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.

no, no, that s quite impossible, replied the professor immediately. do you know, last month i asked him when napoleon had died, he didn t know!

please, sir, give him another chance, said jack s father. you see, i m afraid we don t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that napoleon was ill.

拿破仑病了

杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

他是个好孩子， 杰克的父亲说： 您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。

不，不，那不可能， 教授马上回答。

你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。

先生，请再给他一次机会吧。

杰克的父亲说： 你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。

he was only wrong by two

jack hawkins was the football coach at an amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.

one day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. well, the dean said after some persuasion, i d better ask him a few questions first.

then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn t know any of the answers.

at last the dean said, well, what s five times seven?

the student thought for a long time and then answered, thirty-six.

the dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, oh, please let him in, sir! he was only wrong by two.

他的得数只比正确答案多二

杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。

有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说： 那我最好先问问他几个问题。

然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。

最后院长说： 那么，五乘七得多少?

学生想了很久，然后回答说： 三十六。

院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说， 噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。

real play

when i taught the introduction-to-theater course at north dakota state university, i required my students to attend the university theater s current production and write a critique. after viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: the play was so real, i thought i was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.

逼真的戏剧

我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时，要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出，并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后，一名学生写道： 这部戏剧是如此逼真，以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上，从电视上看到的。

a fine match

one day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. she was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. there she bought a mousetrap. the shopkeeper said to her, put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.

the lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. she did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! when the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!

势均力敌

有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她： 放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。

这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。

令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片!

gardening gloves

for months i hinted that i needed a new wedding ring, since i had developed an allergy to gold. on my birthday, while i was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. i held my hands up and said, well, you ll notice that my hands are bare.

later that evening i opened my present with enthusiasm. happy birthday, he said, as i unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.

园艺手套

几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说： 嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。

那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物。

生日快乐! 他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。

warning

several weeks after our son began his freshman year at alma college in michigan, my husband and i decided to visit him. i was careful to call him a few days in advance to warn him that we would be coming. when we arrived at the dorm, however, i was taken aback by the disarray of his room. forgot we were coming, didn t you? i teased.

are you kidding? he replied, why else would i have bothered to clean?

提醒

我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话， 提醒 他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。

忘了我们要来，是吧? 我取笑他。

开什么玩笑? ，他回答说， 要不我凭什么费神打扫?

ground rules

one of my favorite teachers at southeast missouri state university in cape girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, now i know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so i don t mind if you look at your watches during class. i do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they re still running.

基本原则

位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说： 我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。

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【篇二：有趣的英语小故事】

有趣的三分钟：来信

mr. henry beecher entered plymouth church one sunday and found several letters awaiting him. he opened one and found it contained the single word fool . quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

i have known many an instance(实例) of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance i have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.

一个星期天,亨利 比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的几封信。他打开其中一封,发现信中只写着 傻瓜 两个字。

他平静而认真地把这件事告诉教友们： 写信时忘了签名的人,我遇到过很多,但只签了名却忘了写信的人,我还是头一次遇到。

customer: waiter, i can t find any oysters in this oyster stew.

waiter: well, you wouldn t expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?

顾客：服务员，我这个牡蛎炖菜里怎么没有牡蛎?

服务员：是啊，你不会指望在天使里发现天使吧?

有趣的三分钟：玫瑰

on the way home one night, i spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist s shop. after selecting a dozen and entering the shop, i was greeted by a young saleswoman.

are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

yes, i said.

for her birthday? she asked.

no, i replied.

for your anniversary?

no, i said again.

as i pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, i hope she forgives you.

一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些刚剪下来的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走进店里，一个年轻的女售货员跟我打了个招呼。

先生，这些是送给你妻子的吗?她。

是的，我说。

她的生日?她问。

不是，我回答。

你们的结婚?

不是，我又答道。

当我将找回的钱装进口袋，朝门口走去时，那年轻的女人冲我喊道：希望她能原谅你。

有趣的三分钟英语故事：part-time job业余工作

when my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. he came home all smiles.

how was your first day? i asked.

it was great, dad, he replied. i got to talk to some good-looking girls.

since stephen is not very talkative, i asked, what did you say to them?

do you prefer paper or plastic?

我儿子在一所中学读二年级时，在一家超级市场找到了一份包装商品的业余工作。他满面笑容地回到了家。

第一天感觉如何? 我问。

好极了，爸爸。

他答道， 我跟许多漂亮的女孩子讲了话。

由于斯蒂芬不善言谈，我问道： 你跟他们说了些什么?

你是喜欢纸包装还是塑料包装?

有趣的三分钟英语故事：who discovered australia?谁发现了澳大利亚?

teacher: find australia on the map for me, johnny.

johnny: it s there, sir.

teacher: that s right. now sammy, who discovered australia?

sammy: johnny, sir.

老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

约翰尼：先生，在这儿。

老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?

萨默：先生，是约翰尼。

有趣的三分钟英语故事：quick cleanup快速清扫

unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read thank you for not looking in the bathtub.

不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着： 谢谢你没往浴缸里看。

有趣的三分钟英语故事：christmas eve service礼拜

just as i began my christmas eve service, the electricity in the church failed. the ushers and i found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. then i reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, now, where was i? a tired voice called out, right near the end!

就在我开始平安夜祷告时，教堂停电了。教堂里的接待人员和我找到一些蜡烛，把它们放在礼堂周围。然后我重返讲道坛，整理了一下笔记后，我说： 刚才我讲到哪儿了? 传来一阵不耐烦的声音： 马上就讲完了!

有趣的三分钟英语故事：coins in american currency 美国的硬币

there are 100 cents in a dollar. coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).

coins are called change , small change , or silver though they aren t made of silver anymore.

coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody goofed on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. all the others are in size order.

one more word for you: don t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. that cannot be done in any western country.一美元中有一百美分。硬币是按下列币值铸造的：一美分，五美分，十美分，二十五美分，五十美分。

硬币也叫 零钱 ， 小钱 ，或 银币 ，虽然它们不再是用银子铸成的。总的说来，硬币是通过大小来识别的，但总有人把十美分搞错，它比五美分和一美分都要小。其他的都按币值的大小顺序排列。

还有一点要说明：你不能伸出手，托出一把纸币和硬币而希望别人从你那里拿走数目正确的零钱。这在任何西方国家都是不好的。

有趣的三分钟英语故事：now we run 现在我们跑吧

a priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. however, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. after watching the boy s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy s position. he steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. crouching down to the child s level, the priest smiles and asks, and now what, my little man? the boy replies, now we run!

一个牧师正沿着街走路，这时他看到街对面有个小男孩正试图按一所房子的门铃。但这个小孩太小了，门铃又高，他够不着。看到那个小男孩费了很多劲，牧师走近了他。牧师优雅地穿过马路，走到小家伙的背后，轻轻地把手放在小男孩肩头，按响了门铃。他弯下身子，微笑着问道： 接下来怎么办，孩子? 小男孩回答说： 接下来我们跑。

有趣的三分钟英语故事：we left nothing 我们什么也没留下

mrs brown was going out for the day. she

locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman

on the door: nobody home. don t leave anything.

when she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. on the note she had left, she found the following message added:

thanks! we haven t left anything!

布朗太太要外出一天。

她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条： 家里没人，请不要留下任何东西! 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句： 谢谢!我们什么也没留下!

有趣的三分钟英语故事：你以为你是谁?who do you think you are?

the bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn t let him aboard.

it is too crowded, they shouted. who do you think you are?

i am the driver. he said.

公共上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。

车上太挤了， 他们喊道， 你以为你是谁?

我是司机! 他说。

有趣的英语小故事