爆笑的简短英文小笑话大全

发布时间：2023-02-09 15:03:09

爆笑的简短英文小笑话大全笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。本文是爆笑的简短英文小笑话，希望对大家有帮助!Amurderer,sittingintheelectricchair,wasabouttobeexecuted."Haveyouanylastrequests?askedthechaplain."Yes,"repliedthemurderer."Willyouholdmyhand?"Aneccentricphilosophyprofessorgaveaonequestionfinalexamafterasemesterdealingwithabroadarrayoftopics.Theclasswasalreadyseatedandreadytogowhentheprofessorpickeduphischair,ploppeditonhisdeskandwroteontheboard:"Usingeverythingwehavelearnedthissemester,provethatthischairdoesnotexist."Fingersflew,eraserserased,notebookswerefilledinfuriousfashion.Somestudentswroteover30pagesinonehourattemptingtorefutetheexistenceofthechair.Onememberoftheclasshowever,wasupandfinishedinlessthanaminute.Weekslaterwhenthegradeswereposted,therestofthegroupwonderedhowhecouldhavegottenanAwhenhehadbarelywrittenanythingatall.Hisanswerconsistedoftwowords:"Whatchair?"Asmalltownprosecutingattorneycalledhisfirstwitnesstothestandinatrial-agrandmotherly,elderlywoman.Heapproachedherandasked,"Mrs.Jones,doyouknowme?"Sheresponded,"Why,yes,IdoknowyouMr.Williams.I'veknownyousinceyouwereayoungboy.Andfrankly,you'vebeenabigdisappointmenttome.Youlie,you'reacheat,youmanipulatepeopleandtalkaboutthembehindtheirbacks.Youthinkyou'rearisingbigshotwhenyouhaven'tthebrainstorealizeyouneverwillamounttoanythingmorethanatwo-bitpaperpusher.Yes,Iknowyou."
Thelawyerwasstunned.Notknowingwhatelsetodohepointedacrosstheroomandasked,"Mrs.Williams,doyouknowthedefenseattorney?"Sheagainreplied,"Why,yesIdo.I'veknownMr.Bradleysincehewasayoungster,too.Iusedtobaby-sithimforhisparents.Andhe,too,hasbeenarealdisappointmenttome.He'slazy,bigoted,hehasadrinkingproblem.Themancan'tbuildanormalrelationshipwithanyoneandhislawpracticeisoneoftheshoddiestintheentirestate.Yes,Iknowhim."Atthispoint,thejudgerappedthecourtroomtosilenceandcalledbothcounselorstothebench.Inaveryquietvoice,hesaidwithmenace,"Ifeitherofyouaskherifsheknowsme,you'llbejailedforcontempt!"AfarmhandinAustraliawasoutcheckingfarmfencesinhisLandcruiserwhenhehitsomething.Heradioedthefarmforadvice."There'sapigstuckinthebullbarandisstillalivebuthe'skickingandsquealingsomuchIcan'tgethimfree"hesaid."Okay,"saidtheboss."Inthebackofthe'cruiserthere'sapistol.Putituptothepig'sheadandshootit.Whenitsbodygoesalllimpyou'llbeabletogetitoffthebullbarandthrowitintothebush."About45minuteslaterthefarmhandcalledinagain,"Ididwhatyousaid,boss.Ishotthepiginthehead,hewentalllimpandIgothimoutofthebullbar,noproblem.ButIstillcan'tgoon.""Whynot?"Askedtheboss."What'stheproblem?""Wellit'shismotorbike...theflashingbluelightisjammedunderthewheel-arch."Amanwalksintoabarandasksthebartender,"IfIshowyouareallygoodtrick,willyougivemeafreedrink?"Thebartenderconsidersit,thenagrees.Themanreachesintohispocketandpullsoutatinyrat.Hereachesintohisotherpocketandpullsoutatinypiano.Theratstretches,crackshisknuckles,andproceedstoplaytheblues.

爆笑的简短英文小笑话大全

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